What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
Last Updated: 30.06.2025 10:56
I was very sick at this time too.
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
Scientists identify a cellular 'switch' that could reverse type 2 diabetes - Earth.com
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
But it wasn’t much.
Cal Raleigh’s latest home run sets multiple records - Seattle Sports
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
But ive been too sick for many years..
I know ,a lot about trauma.
How corporate America learnt not to mess with Texas - Financial Times
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
My life is so biszare .
Jason Sudeikis Remembers Uncle George Wendt as “an Incredible Influence” - The Hollywood Reporter
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
Your Unique Breathing Patterns May Reveal Your Identity and Mental Health - Neuroscience News
I don,t even have a pension.
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
Largest Horned Dinosaur Ever Found Looks Like It Walked Off a Marvel Set - Indian Defence Review
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
Ive learnt so much.
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
What is the most inappropriate experience you have had with a friend's daughter?
And i lived it daily.
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
Why aren't you a Trump supporter?
One cannot live in the past .
But, we were locked up after school.
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
Who was most disrespectful today, Zelensky, Trump, or Vance? Give examples.
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
All the time i was locked up.
Trump faces backlash from Maga base after strikes on Iran - Financial Times
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
(And it was in our own minds.)
Denise Austin’s 5 Habits to Tackle Stubborn Belly Fat - Eat This Not That
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
Scientists stunned as underwater volcano unleashes over a million giant eggs - Glass Almanac
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
My family never makes their pension either.
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
She loved him until the end.
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
Was to survive, this bastard.
So, i spoilt her more .
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
She was in good health!
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
The only rule us 5 kids had .
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
Im dying but, im not bitter.
When she asked me how she looked .
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
Why did i forgive my father ?
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
Especially a lifetime of it.
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
She wouldn,t have been !
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
Comes on , in middle age.
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
He resisted the act ,that day.
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
I said to her
Put me off passion for life!!
Would this be the day?
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
I was 9 years of age.
They are buried together, in the same grave..
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
On the 31st of Jan this month .
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
My mum and dad in the seventies!
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
I have no regrets .
I was seconnd youngest,
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
I never cut or harmed myself..
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
What did i know ?
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
I did it because my mum asked me too!
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
I could never make a relationship work though!
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
I write beautiful poetry .
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
We all went to grammer schools
I will be 64.
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
It was going to be , some day.
And who doesn’t know suffering?
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
Where the ultimate outsiders.
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
He knew the spot.
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
We were not on the streets..
So whats the point in blame.
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
This is soul school!.
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
He was dying to do it , i knew.
I was scared of men, in general
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
Im still living with it.
She married twice! .
I waited trembling.
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
I had hoped to write a book about this .
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
I couldn’t, believe it.
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
As i do to all so called friends.?
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
This is how, and why children get BPD.
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
I think the readers, may guess!
She found it foreign!.
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
Who then, do I blame.?